Day 4, Week 1

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Phillipians 4:8

It seems so easy to read verses and gain strength from them and push forward.  I can't imagine not having God and having to deal with tough issues.  I know that it was God who brought me to my knees in humility and faith when I thought selfishly about ending my life.  God showed me what my life would have been like had I been separated from Him forever...I remember feeling so empty and lacking all hope.  I never want to feel that again...I don't have to...I am a new creature in Christ...the old has gone...

I think honestly that things in this world make me feel sad and unimportant.  For instance, my husband and I were walking into this store one evening and this man walked in before us...he opened the door just enough for him to get in and the door shut behind him.  There was no intention on his part to be courteous.  Those things can create a huge, over-exaggeration in our minds.  Why should I care that that man felt enough for me in that moment to hold open a door.  But isn't that what we are after sometimes?  That open door is the key to our happiness...we feel joy when it is open to us rather than closed...but God ensures us that open or closed doors are for our benefit...not to harm us, but to guide us to His appropriate direction.  Huh...

So, on to how my day of living healthy was yesterday...Fridays are usually meant for date night...My husband and I believe that all couples should make time each week to have a date night...We have done this our whole marriage and it is something that we make time for regardless of what is going on.  Even our children know to find other things to do on date night!  :)

I ate very healthy all day...that was my goal...I had mostly green salads with some protein.  I stayed away from soda and bread.  The one thing I definitely added more of is water...water is so very good for those of us trying to lose weight...and in this dry climate, we do not have to be careful about how much we intake.  I like the idea that drinking tons of water cleanses my system, helps with my skin and helps with digestion.  I am really enjoying getting back to that fitness addict I once used to be.

So, today I plan on taking a long walk with my husband after work and doing some work on the punching bag...I like the challenge of doing something wonderful for myself...and even more, I like the accountability this blog gives me!  I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday!  Love, Del

Day 3, Week 1

Day Three...you know that feeling you get when you start eating right and working out and the very next day you should have lost at least 10 lbs...yeah that was me today...I was thinking that my pants should fit differently since I was good and did all that I was supposed to do yesterday.  Well, this is the part in your brain where you have to do some self talk because you have already decided that you are going to eat ice cream for lunch today...LOL!  Not a good plan!!!

So, let's get back to some of the moments when I was really struggling through my pity party...A lot of revolves around having a degree and not being able to settle into a career.  I received a part-time job right out of college that would be turning into a full-time job the following year.  That was exciting for me and I felt as though I was on my path to helping students understand what "Fitness for Life" actually meant.  My co-worker and I even start a class for overweight teens.  The district couldn't pay a teacher to teach this class as there was not enough interest in the class...so I taught the class for free.  It was important to the students who had gotten scheduled into the class...as we went on this year long trek of getting HS students healthy; we saw miraculous changes!  I saw one student start at a size 18 and got all the way down to a size 10 in a years time!  She was healthy and happier than she'd been in a long time.  Now we did other things for the health portion...we gave them nutritional advice...we counseled them through rough moments caused by aweful teens.  We had them journal their exercise time, what they ate and their feelings.  It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life!

A year later...the school needed a head male basketball coach.  Their candidates were men that taught various school subjects, but their choice was the man that taught Physical Ed and Health.  So, I was out of a job.  I found 3 other jobs after than and each time it was the same thing...male sports was the priority.  So, as I depressed, I decided to substitute teach.  At least I could still have the same schedule as my kids doing this job.  I was very popular as a sub...with many requests.  Then the economy tanked and more professionals decided to get licenses to substitute teach...more subs, less work.

I really believe that losing these jobs put me futher in my mind's hole.  I didn't feel like I was good enough and I certainly couldn't keep a job for very long.  So, I went dark...very dark...Honestly, if you do not have an awesome support system...you can end up in a very bad place or dead.  I guess what I am trying to convey with this story is that things happen...especially in the stated our country is in now...find a support system that will give you the strength to do what it takes to serves out your Godly purpose!  Jesus is no joke!  He is the way and the truth and the light!  He saved me...He loves me...He knows me...

Day 2, Week 1

Music is a blessing...
So, I brought my clothes for the gym to workout last night...I guess it was an accomplishment to get my clothes in a bag and the bag in the car.  I didn't work out...I decided to go home and watch "Joyful Noise" instead.  The music in that movie heals my heavy heart.

My thoughts drifted off to when I was in school getting my Exercise Science/Kinesiology degree.  I remember having such energy and enthusiasm for sports and fitness.  I would spend 2-3 hours in the gym easily.  It was such a delight to come home after a satisfying day at the gym or school.  I definitely didn't watch as much television as I do now...grrr!

Music moves me...
I have been focused on getting our worship team together and get music that is relevant to messages that Jay is preaching.  I am so blessed to have a great job at the church that I enjoy so much!  I have been singing since I was a child.  I would spend countless hours in our kitchen singing and dancing to the Top 100 countdown songs...LOL.  I truly believe in the art of dance.  It is fun and enjoyable.  Maybe that is a good outlet to relieve some stress...it is another way to get healthy without the chore of going to the gym! 

Jay and I had a conversation about the future of Cross Training Church...it is so exciting to dream...but, it is stressful for me as we plan and Jay has the expectation that I will be able to train people again soon...I don't want to disappoint him...what if my desire to move and jump around again never comes back...I am worried about this.  God knows this and I know that He shall make it known to me what my future is to hold.

Well, my plan for this evening is to walk a bit and hit the punching bag for an hour...Jay will be working on the treadmill to ensure that it is in working condition for me when it is too cold to go out...I will speak of my successes tomorrow...until then, I hope you are finding your own way of getting motivated!

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:13-14

Day 1, Week 1

This is me, Del Vigil...a 200 lbs. 46 year old woman...I am a pastor's wife of Cross Training Church.  Our church's main focus is to help people be healthy...mind, body and spirit...Well, what do you do when you have a calling by God, yet you are not in any way healthy?  Let's travel back and see where it all went wrong...

I don't want to reveal all the dysfunction...I need you to continue to keep checking in!  But here are a few tidbits...I do have abuse in my background.  There was a lot of physical abuse and some sexual abuse.  It was not a fun childhood for me.  In fact, I can't remember many things that my sisters talk about frequently.  I just nod and go along with them.  In a nutshell, there was a lot of pressure, too much seclusion from the world and guilt galore!

More recently, I had a mini breakdown in the winter of 2009.  I was trying to stop the taking of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds and go for a more natural approach.  During that same time, I decided to quit my job and my husband started to not make as much in commission.  We moved to a smaller place and things just got really bad.  We sometimes didn't have enough food to feed ourselves...as we made sure our kids were able to eat.  We lost two of our dogs who were killed in traffic.  It really didn't seem as though things would ever get any better.  Bottom of the barrel would have been a blessing to what I felt we dealt with...I tried to get other teaching jobs...I had lost my 4th job to a coach who could also teach P.E. or Health.  So, instead I took substituting assignments.  Usually I only took schools that I was familiar with so that I would not have issues, emotionally.

I just remember laying on my bed crying and hoping for death at that point.  Eventually, we moved again to a small apartment.   Jay changed jobs and we had enough to get by.  I was able to finally go to the doctor and get back on the meds I needed for stress and anxiety.  I believe at that time I came to a false reality that I was of no value in the world and that I should just give up...I truly did give up...I had to have someone home with me at all times because I wanted to end my life.  My husband was a solid rock and brought me back from the brink many times I contemplated suicide.  I reached out to friends...some were very put out, others were too busy and some were very understanding.  I feel like even though that battle was 3 years ago...I still face that same depression of not being good enough.  I have gained 40 lbs since that time and 20 just in the last 6 months.

Now, God has pulled me to my feet and is not taking my excuses or no for an answer.  So, I would like for you to go on a journey with me.  Today, I begin my first day of living up to the calling God has given me as a church planter.  He gave me the schooling to know how to be physically healthy...I have the answers in His Word on how to be healthy emotionally and spiritually. Over the next four months, I will be blogging about my journey to getting healthy!  I will post pictures and videos of my journey!  My hope is that if you are also unhealthy in any way, that this would be of some encouragement to you and show you that you are not alone!

May our journeys be blessed!

Del